We all make mistakes. This obvious truism will be the motto of this post, as I will write a few words about how I managed to make an arrogant fool out of me.
As you probably have already noticed, I am an avid fan of retro games. I have always liked their atmosphere and (in their time) freshness of ideas. I still recall some of the worlds I visited as a child thanks to them. The system that had made the biggest impression on me in the old days was Amiga. Consoles were not really popular back then in Poland (price, availability), so for me it was Amiga that opened the door to the realm of colourful digital entertainment. I actually never had Amiga (my parents could not afford it), but played a lot at my friends' places.
Now that I have grown older, I still enjoy occasional trip down the nostalgy lane. Recently PSP has become my gaming system of choice, with one of the reasons for me to buy it being the possibility to write my own programs and running homebrew applications on it.
The Polish article on Amiga emulation on PSP made me shiver lustfully and finally I spent my hard earned yens on a brand new Japanese PSP.
How does that relate to me behaving like a total bastard? Read on.
Well, one of the first things I did on my PSP was to run PSPUAE, the Amiga emulator. I think it was more or less
version 0.41. Anyhow, I was quite disappointed. Barely playable framerate, problems with compatibility, and very long loading times. Briefly, I abandoned it waiting for a next release.
This PSPUAE screen is here just to distract your eyes from the tons of writing in this post...Which in fact never came. Its author (Christophe Thibault) got either bored with it or overhelmed by the task of optimising the code for the PSP, the project was apparently dead.
After more than half a year the things got better though. Some people, namely Ric, FOL and Hungry Horace (if I missed anyone out contact me via mail or comments) started all over again. Partially based on the 0.41 version, they have continued developing the
PSPUAE.
I was in fact overjoyed. I downloaded the first release (0.51), tested it and wrote
my thoughts in comment on PSPUpdates. I indicated that speed should be the priority (as if they didn't know...) and that maybe
Zx-81 (a coder famous in the PSP homebrew community for releasing many good emulators) might help.
Since I didn't get any reply back then, I wrote them again in comments when 0.55 was released (
you can read it here). And that is where I made my first major mistake. I did not check the answers later, because actually the guys took time to reply to me.
Therefore, more and more annoyed I continued to rant in a more and more nasty way on
release 0.60 and on
release 0.61.
I am ashamed to admit that I didn't go back checking for replies more than two or three times. Hence the tone of my rant got more and more offensive, there is no denying it. Until...
Until one day I came back on the last release, saw angry reply of FOL, learned that in fact they asked Zx-81 to cooperate with PSPUAE team and he refused, went back to my previous comments and realised that FOL and Hungry Horace have replied to me at least a couple of times (starting with rather kind explanations).
I have to state that at that moment I felt like a complete and utter ass.
What makes this even more silly is the fact that I was recently reviewing PSPUAE and even though I pointed out the framerate issues and loading times, I wrote that I found it better then the previous versions and generally liked the direction in which it was going (
see it here).
The excuses that I love Amiga games, that I want to be able to play them on my PSP, that I in fact was pleased with the progress of the emulator (as stated in this post) don't change the fact that not only have I made a fool of me, but an arrogant bastard too.
Optimising code, refactoring, increasing the efficiency of a program are never easy tasks, especially in an environment that has numerous constraints and you can't reply to your customer "buy more RAM and a faster processor". Doing that without any gratification in what might have been one's free time is even more demanding. And hearing in return : "this sucks, make it better" is definitely not rewarding.
From the tone of replies I could see that they were not only annoyed, but seriously offended and touched by the tone of my comments. Definitely, it was unfair of me. People put their effort in bringing something up and all they get in return is ingratitude (that is a little bit of an understatement).
So what could I do about it?
I decided that full apologies and an explanation of why I behaved like that are the only way for me to save face. Therefore I registered at pspuae.com forum and I posted a big sorry to folks over there (
which you can read in this thread). I won't be quoting all of it in this place, but I tried real hard to explain that I generally am not a malicious person, didn't mean to be that nasty and that I do hold their hard work in esteem.
In the end everything finished more or less all right. My apologies were accepted and although I got a few bitter comments (rightly so, they were deserved), Horace and FOL seemed to appreciate the fact that I admitted being wrong and apologised. I certainly do hope they feel a little better after that.
If you have read through this story (trurly heart-breaking, I know), you can go to
pspuae.com and send them a little word of encouragment so that they see there is some positive reaction to what they do.
PS. And the positive result of all this fuss are is that I have a new release of PSPUAE on my Memory Stick, as well as some other emulators (CaSTaway, among other things) in order to provide some better in-depth comparison. Expect it as soon as I finish the Dungeon Siege : Throne of Agony review.